7:16 A.M. Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My lunch was made last night, so, hopefully, I can get this written and still be on time for work.

It’s a very busy time for me right now, big meeting coming up tomorrow, plus lots of other CUPE business to be taken care of before the end of June.  I’m doing my best to stay on top of it, but I have to be honest, I’d much rather just let it all go and spend my time outside in my yard or on working on jobs around this house.  There is just so much to do and never enough time to do it all.

I have, however, gotten better at not stressing about it.  I do what I can and tell myself to be satisfied that I’ve done the best I can.  The world is not going to fall apart, I am not going to be tarred and feathered if something slips, and,  in the end, I’m the only person who’s really going to care.  Everyone else is as busy with their lives as I am with mine.  Let’s face it — I’m just not that important.

Now, when I say that, I am not being self-deprecating.  I simply mean that in the big scheme of things, my little life — my worries, my failings and faults, my successes and strengths — these things are really only important to me and to a very select few family and friends.  And even then, the importance of my daily life is not uppermost in their lives.  It’s their lives and the lives of their children, spouses, and significant others that matter most.  And that is how it should be.

Each of us wants to be thought of as important.  We want to make an imprint on the world, we want, in the end, to be remembered.  But history books only have so much space, and that space has to be allotted for the truly important.

I think that we’ve been seduced by media, in all its forms, into seeking recognition for our individual self-importance.   And though I wholeheartedly believe that each of us must believe in our own self-worth and have a strong sense of who we are, I don’t believe that outside of our own little circle of family and friends, we should be concerned about what the rest of the world thinks.

Being present in your own life, making a difference to those who matter most in your life, and being, for the most part, happy in all that you do, that should be what is truly important.  Not whether your name is mentioned in a newspaper, or your face appears on a list of ‘volunteers of the year’, whether or not you are celebrated at a community event, or named as chair of some committee — though  these are all wonderful achievements, they shouldn’t be the driving force behind any good deed.

Shows like Secret Millionaire and  Undercover Boss  are just two examples of vehicles that promote people seeking the sort of recognition I’m talking about.  I can’t stand either of these shows simply because they are a showcase for people greedy for public recognition and a platform for them to promote their self-importance.  The real heroes of those shows are the unsung individuals who were doing all the hard work before the ‘celebrities’ appeared (in disguise).

So, I guess what I’m saying is:  Be important, but be important to those who matter most in your life first, then be important without wanting or needing recognition.  If recognition comes, then, you’ve probably earned it through action, not self-promotion, and that will likely mark you as someone to be remembered.

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12 Comments

  1. theonlycin said,

    May 31, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Very well said!

  2. Jennifer Heculuck said,

    May 31, 2011 at 8:46 am

    So true Kathy,
    It has taken me 41 years to realize that my actions and my thoughts only really affect me and my immediate family. When I stopped worrying about what others thought of me or my actions, I was surprised to realize that they were not really thinking about me or what I did. (how dare they not be as absorbed in my goings on as I am,Lol) When you accept that and know your truth, life is grand on a much grander scale.
    Love you,
    Jenn

    • klrs09 said,

      May 31, 2011 at 4:41 pm

      It is a bit of an eye-opener when you realize that everyone’s world doesn’t revolve around you — LOL. Thanks for the comment Jenn, hope you’re having a great week.

      love, me

  3. May 31, 2011 at 8:59 am

    Actually, I found Undercover Boss less a search for publicity and more healing for the country’s mindset. Not a manger myself, and I’m not sure how any manager going on TV to show that he or she is incompetent at the jobs of the folks that work for him is going to make him look good.

    At the time this came out, we’d had the big economic crisis, and most people’s beliefs were caught in an “us/them” dichotomy about workers/managers. In some cases, that was certainly accurate; but in many cases, it wasn’t, and getting stuck in those beliefs made bad situations worse.

    The concept that at last some bosses cared and valued employees was one that could help people start to work together again.

    And that’s a good thing

    Catherine
    Foresight

    • klrs09 said,

      May 31, 2011 at 4:45 pm

      You make some good points — “the concept that at last some basses cared and valued employees. . .” is a very good one. However, I have this deep-seated mistrust as to their true motivation. I admit that Undercover Boss is the least onerous of the two programs I mentioned, but I still think it is merely a way for these employers to gain some attention for themselves, and, play to their own self-importance. Thanks for visiting, I appreciate your comments.

      • June 1, 2011 at 8:34 am

        I understand your caution. I’ve worked for some bosses from heck. But I’ve also worked for some that were kind and good, so I feel that we need to meet each person where they’re at, looking past their role to the person beneath

        That being said,think if the bosses on “Undercover Boss” were just doing this for self-agrandishment, they’d try to make themselves look a little better. Instead they tend to look folish or incompetent and the workers look good.

        I have no problem if this show gets them a bit of publicity.It doesn’t hurt me. And, if publicity is what they need to keep their companies afloat and keep their emeployees employed, that’s fine by me

  4. nrhatch said,

    May 31, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    When we stop trying to impress others, always looking over our shoulders to see who’s watching we free ourselves to live life on our own terms.

    Much more better. 😀

    • klrs09 said,

      May 31, 2011 at 4:50 pm

      Exactly, and that should be the most important part of life.

  5. June 1, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Hey Kathy – you really like taking on the big subjects early in the morning!

    I heard or read someone saying – decades ago – (please excuse the language) “If you have nothing but a**h***s working for you, guess what that makes you…Chief A**h***.”

    That was a title I never wanted to have. My parents didn’t raise me to be that! 😀

    There are more ways for us to try to get attention than there are birds in the air. We delude ourselves, deny our actions, and wash over our secret motives. Often we don’t take the time to look at ourselves because we are so busy looking at others.

    I don’t have a TV set – other than about 3 programs, I found TV degrading. I questioned why I’d put some of that nonsense into my being. So I don’t know those programs. However, Kathy, I do know that anyone who has to denigrate any other human being is desperate to be loved.

    I loathe gossip because it is such a testament to the gossiper’s low self esteem. But if bosses don’t deal honestly and squarely with employees, they obviously need to experience the hell that they create for themselves. What incenses me is the hell it needlessly and unfairly creates for employees. (I used to say that a rotten manager is corporate abuse!)

    If I could do anything for the world, it would be that each person would be live in a state of respect and dignity – given and received – whether at work, rest or play. It’s worth a shot, I figure! I’ve has times of that bliss.

    In many ways, I saw in the working world that all the rules, polices, manuals and guidelines served to put up more punitive barriers than harmony situations – whether they came from the company or the union.

    However, Kathy! On to the really important issues: Go Canucks!! Wahooooo!

  6. June 11, 2011 at 3:44 am

    What an awesome post! How true that, on the scale of things, if we are so unknown, then why the heck should we worry about what the world thinks of us at large? Who cares?

    It’s about being the best that we can be for ourselves and those that are close to us – exactly as you say!

    Thanks 😀

    Chloe xx

    • klrs09 said,

      June 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      Thanks, Chloe, it’s all about perspective, isn’t it?


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