feelin’ a little blue tonight. . .

It’s been a rough week here in Bon Accord . . .  (just borrowing a little from Garrison Keillor). 

It’s been a week of meetings and long nights.  I’m tired and I keep wondering what I’m doing.  Nice people tell me I’m doing fine, but. . .  you know how it is. . . self-doubt is such a downer. 

I keep reminding myself that I have lots, tons, actually to be thankful for and grateful for, but it gets tiresome doing all that reminding.  I just want it to all come easily, I want to wake up in the morning and feel light — not the visual kind, but the weight kind — I want to feel as though my feet are skimming the ground, not plodding through it. 

See, I said I was feeling a little blue. . .

my little pity-party will be over soon.  I’m just tired and in need of sleep.  In need of a day when I don’t have to consider a problem, consider whether or not I’m acting diligently.  In need of a day just to sleep and read and eat bon-bons. 

I love that word:  bon-bons.  it’s such an archaic, yet extremely expressive little bon-mot.  (maybe it’s just the bon part that I like?)  It brings to mind images of bee-hived hairdo’s, false eyelashes, lots of kohl eyeliner and bright, bright red lipstick and nail polish.  Finely spun cotton dresses in the style of Audrey Hepburn and elegant pearl bracelets.  It’s quasi-classy, or something, I can’t quite put my finger on it.  But saying it, writing it makes me smile.

Everyone — say bon-bon.  See it makes everything better, doesn’t it? 

Well, I’m starting to feel a little less sorry for myself, I’m so glad I sat down to write this out. 

Bon-bon, everyone!