Friday, Feb. 18, 2011

It has been too long since I last updated this.

I have given up on the no dessert for a year.

When I went for my weigh-in at Curves on the 7th I was sorely disappointed.  Their scale said I had lost a measly .5 lb.  My scale at home said I had dropped 4 lbs, but I chose to believe the Curves scale.  On top of that was the fact that the only place I had lost inches was on my thighs.

I already have skinny legs!  I don’t need skinnier ones!

Anyway, I spent a good 24 hours being really pissed off.  Then I got my shit together and decided that cutting dessert out of my life really wasn’t having an impact on my weight loss goals.  So. . .

. . .I’m taking a more realistic approach to this whole thing   I still want to lose 30 lbs., I still want to be healthier and make sure I have a good, strong, healthy heart.  To do that I will continue exercising — I’ve had my workout intensity level ramped up a notch at Curves and I’m attempting to get there 4 times a week — I have managed to get out for a couple of nice long walks — that was a week ago when we had spring-like temps.  Now that we’re in the deep freeze again. . .

My brief stint of not eating dessert (it was a month and a half) has taught me that I don’t really crave sweets as much as I had convinced myself I did.  I am satisfying my sweet tooth with fresh fruit and a daily serving of yogurt and granola.  It is certainly enough.  I will still limit how much and how often I have dessert.  I will replace cookies with my tea with a piece of fruit instead.  I will continue to chew on raw vegetables when I get the munchies.  (this is not my favorite thing to do — but it’s better for me, I know).

So, that’s my new approach.  I don’t feel like too much of a quitter.  I feel positive and energized.  And hopeful.

10 days in. . .

Okay, so it’s been 10 days so far. . .

. . . I think it’s going to be a long year.

Last Friday I had a terrible craving for chocolate while at work — I ate an orange instead.  Then chewed gum.  Then drank tea.  Did not succumb, but it was hard.

Saturday, during our recovery from the snowstorm I went into cocoon mode and that generally means comfort food and to me comfort food means cookies, cake, candy, etc.  I went and played Scrabble, drank sherry and ate mini-oranges instead.  It worked.  I made it through.

When I weighed myself yesterday I was down 4 lbs.  Current weight:  168 lbs.  Not kidding myself, that is most likely all water loss.

I have started back at Curves.  Went twice last week, am aiming for 3 times this week.  I am also trying to get in some yoga or the treadmill 3 times a week.

I’m trying the Curves weight loss program again in an effort to jump-start my metabolism.  I am going the protein route rather than the carb route.  Too many carbs generally make me feel bloated and lethargic.  I may switch between them, but I’ll have to check out whether that is recommended or not.

I think I was expecting big, immediate results after 10 days of not eating any kind of sweet, but I have been disappointed.  I do, however, think it has made a big impact on my sense of general well-being.  I am not as tired as I was before starting this crazy thing, and I have not changed my sleeping habits or daily activities.  So, getting rid of excess sugar and fat in the diet does have that positive immediate impact.

I got measured and weighed at Curves last week.  In the interest of transparency and so I can keep a running comparison going I’m going to post those measurements:

Bust — 41″
Waist – 36′
Abdomen – 41.5′
Hips – 41.5′
Thighs – 22.75′
Upper Arms – 12′
Weight – 172 lbs
% body fat – 41.2%

Not a pretty picture, but not entirely bleak, either.  I am determined to lose 35 lbs and get down to a size 10.  I’m not sure I can accomplish that in one year, but I hope this gets me on the right track to achieving my goal.

I sometimes wonder why I bother, why I don’t just sit back and enjoy my life as it is and stop worrying about my weight, my health — I eat pretty good, I get moderate amounts of exercise — it all just takes so much effort.  And then I bend over to tie my shoes and find myself gasping for breath.  I hate that.  The day I can bend over without feeling like my head’s going to explode will be a great day.

Day 4 — Not feeling the pain, yet

Yesterday was actually pretty easy.  Took all the chocolate to work.  Was not tempted to sneak one.  Yay!

Totally ignored the pile of cookies and chocolates in the staff room.  Got some strange looks when I explained why I wasn’t snarfing them down.  Chewed on a handful of dry, honey roasted peanuts.  Had a moment of feeling smug then realized break was over.  The tough part about being back at work — regulated breaks.  Huge sigh.

Am trying to decide what I’ll choose this month to spend my one goodie on — Pie Day this weekend with the girls, my son’s 30th birthday, or my granddaughter’s 6th birthday.  So far, my son’s birthday is coming up the favorite.  It’s next Wednesday.  Pie Day is this Saturday.  Hailey’s birthday is the end of the month.  Landon’s birthday is the halfway mark, but more than that, it’s such a milestone I feel I should celebrate it with him.  By eating cheesecake.  That I’ll make.  With strawberries.

I think I’ve just convinced myself!