Nothing physical purged today. All mental and emotional.
I rid myself of these three things today: sadness, lethargy and malaise.
I’ll start with lethargy and malaise. It was -24, windy and snowing today. I could have easily chosen to stay inside and not go for my walk today. A couple of weeks ago I probably would have done just that.
But today I set a goal of leaving the apartment after 2 pm (that’s when the mail is delivered) and I didn’t hesitate once when it came time to go. I bundled up and away we (Dad and I) went.
And you know what? It wasn’t that bad. Sure, it was cold and the wind blowing in my face took my breath away once or twice, but honestly, it wasn’t bad. I talked to dad as I trudged through the drifting snow, glad I had him to keep me company. I walked up to the little shopping centre a few blocks from our building, completed my few errands and was home again by 3:30. A nice hot cup of tea and I was comfy, cozy and content.
Now for sadness. Despite feeling incrementally better these past couple of weeks I still find myself dealing with moments of incredible sadness. Writing this blog is helping with that, as are my daily walks and conversations with my father.
As I walked today I told dad that I wished I’d had it in me to talk to him the way I do now when he was alive. The wind was blowing really hard, so if he answered me, I didn’t hear him. Instead of feeling sad I actually felt a sense of joy.
There’s a story in our family of how my father once walked through a blizzard carrying my younger sister and I after his car got stuck in a snow drift. We lived out in the country and there was no traffic and no where for him to find shelter to wait out the storm. He knew we’d likely freeze if he didn’t get us home, so he bundled us up inside his big green army coat – one on his back, one in front and he set out in the direction of our home.
I wish I could remember that experience. I wish I could remember feeling his heart beating against mine as he struggled to get us to safety. I wish I could remember if he talked to us, told us stories to help us stay awake and calm. But, as with so much of my early life, I remember nothing. I know this story, and that he probably saved our lives only because my younger sister remembers and so did my dad and its been told numerous times.
I used to feel so sad because I couldn’t remember. And that there must be something wrong with me because I didn’t. Today, I felt that sadness and guilt lifted up and out of me on the blowing wind and swirling snow.
Thanks again dad.
I know that I tend to gripe about the cold. I can’t help it. Despite having lived my entire life in places where winter is the longest season, I just can’t get over it.
Friday was the first official day of Spring, and the forecast for next week? Expect January-like temperatures. The projected high for Tuesday is supposed to be a balmy -18 degrees Celsius. Yay. Can hardly wait.
I’ve been keeping my bedroom window open at night in the misguided belief that it’s NOT THAT COLD, and THE FRESH AIR WILL DO US GOOD. What I got for my troubles was a sore throat and a sinus cold. Yay, Again.
We had a good lot of snow this winter and last week most of it melted. Creating lovely, goopy, slimy mud pits everywhere. The street I live on in my idyllic little rural community are not paved. They are gravelled. But, I was happy that the snow was gone out of my driveway, and that at least I could see the gravel again. But, then, the local idiots decided that tearing up and down our side street and four-wheel driving through the muck in their Mazda hatch-back and sore-excuse for a sports-truck would be fun. They made a grand mess of the road and the boulevard.
Yet another sign that Spring has arrived. And, here’s another. . .
The husband took matters into his own hands and went after one of them. Talked to a dad of one of the boys and told him the police would be called next time it happened. Barricades went up the next day. Hope the two are related. The traffic has been a lot more sedate since, however.
Now things are frozen again. I guess we’ll see what happens when Spring decides to stick around.
I can’t wait for Spring to really arrive. I’m thinking it might be for real somewhere around Easter. Until then I’ve got Pinterest.
by Kathy Larson
Who was it
first uttered those
words? Keep out.
They’re not nice.
how you say them,
how you dress them up.
like a bare-branched-tree-lined
lane in winter. with a
sign crucified lopsided
neat black letters on
hunter yellow: KEEP OUT!
It catches the eye, draws you on,
draws you in, begs your attention.
Who was it first
uttered those words? What
was it they needed
they craved, they suffered
so much for
they couldn’t connect,
All Rights Reserved
No copying without permission of the author.
We have a sort of pergola over our front entrance and in winter snow gets get up there on the beams. It can be kind of treacherous walking underneath if the snow decides to follow gravity’s rule — more than once I’ve got a bunch of snow plopped on me. Generally, we try and knock it down, but Tim thought it would be ‘fun’ to let it be.
With the warmer temps the past few days the snow has been melting and it’s created these fascinating sculptures up there above our heads, so I decided to take a few pictures.
Hope you enjoy them.
So, here it is December 28th. Christmas came and went in a flurry of activity. It was one of the happiest Christmases I’ve enjoyed. Everyone was relaxed and into the spirit — Tim and I have days of down-time following ‘the big day’ and that has been a wonderful bonus.
I really don’t have too much to say about Christmas itself, other than what I’ve stated above — it seems the older I get the less important gifts have become — it’s more about spending time with people you love and taking the gift of those times away with you. Don’t get me wrong, gifts do still play a part, but I worry less about how much I’m buying and concentrate more on how happy what I’m giving will make the recipient. So, if it’s one or two meaningful things as compared to a truckload of stuff that will be forgotten the moment it’s opened, that’s the way I’ve gone.
One of my favorite memories of these holidays will be the night the kids came over for our Griswold Family Christmas night. We watched Nat’l Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (a tradition) put out snack and finger food and just sat around eating and laughing and watching the kids (who really didn’t sit still for much of the movie). Ethan decided that the Dickens’ Village display in the kitchen was far more interesting than the Griswold’s and their problems.
I found him rearranging everything and driving his flourescent green and purple HotWheels cars through the tiny plastic-cobblestone streets. It was delightful. He gave me a big smile when I asked him what he was doing and said: “This needs go here, Gramma” as he picked up some tiny people and shoved them into the entrance of the church. When he was finished there were lamp posts dangling off the edge of the shelf and groups of little porcelain people huddled together as if in fear of some unseen, monstrous danger, but everything was intact. He toddled off to the next thing to catch his attention — a candy cane — which I am still wiping traces of off various surfaces around my house.
All in all, this Christmas break has been just the break I needed.
Wishing all a season of joy and happiness for the coming New Year.
. . .it does make for some pretty pictures. Here are a few more of snow taken around my front yard.