Purge, the 16th

Photo courtesy Google free images

I’m discovering that purging can take many forms.

Today’s purging involved finances. Tim and I are now at that stage in life when we want things to be super simple, and that includes our money (what little we have, ha).

The topic of money is such a volatile one. We all want it, we want LOTS of it, and we don’t want to have to worry about it. We have different ideas about money and what it can do for our lives. Some of us, like me, are savers, and some, like my husband are spenders.

Some clarification: I am a saver, but I am also a spender, but the way I choose to spend my money is much different from the way Tim chooses. Tim is a spender who likes the idea of saving – it just happens to clash with his wants, needs and desires. So, fundamentally, we have opposing views when it comes to what we should do with our money.

What I think money can do for me is: Provide me with a secure, comfortable, well-established and maintained home; take me on vacations to warm places every winter for two weeks or longer; allow me to indulge my grandchildren, son and daughter-in-law when I want to; give me the opportunity to plan trips with my family; provide a little for those less fortunate than we are. That’s not a complete list, but those are probably the most important things on it.

Yesterday we had to go to the bank and make some decisions on the best way to ensure that we’re getting the biggest bang for our bucks as possible. In the past this could lead to some pretty heated arguments between Tim and I. But yesterday I made the conscious decision to not get upset just because Tim’s and my opinions don’t agree. I think he did, too, because it was actually pretty painless. And I think we made some pretty good decisions.

Or, maybe it’s just that we’re getting old(er) and realize that some things, like money, just aren’t worth fighting about.

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Just a little rant. . .

It’s been a while. But I’ve got something to say and this is quite likely the best place to say it.

I wish to GOD that people would stop posting all those melodramatic posts about what it means to be a mother.

Don’t get me wrong – I know being a mom is a tough (tuff) job – but come on people! It’s not like you’re working in the salt mines or digging ditches in 100 degree heat all day!

The tone of all these posts that get circulated on the internet is that somehow being a mother is akin to being in shackles and that there is absolutely no respite or appreciation or compensation for the job.

I call bullshit!

I don’t get why all these women who wanted a home and family are now so bent on getting attention and recognition for their ‘sacrifices’.  It wasn’t a sacrifice — it was a choice. A choice women since the dawn of time have made. And they made it knowing that it would change their lives. Mostly for the better.

Despite all the mewling and whining and ‘woe-is-me’ out there, I believe most women who have been mothers or are mothers just get on with the job of being mom. That includes being wife, housecleaner and chief bottle washer. They get up each morning with a smile and greet their families without the marks of self-flaggelation upon their backs.

You don’t see a gazillion weepy-penned articles or posts about what it means to be a dad.  If all these women crying the blues think they’ve got it so bad, think they’re so under-appreciated and under-valued, why don’t they try being the dad for awhile. Gain a little perspective, then talk about sacrifice.

I was a mom. I loved it. Not every day did I love it, but 93% of the time I have to say, I completely loved my job. To me, it was the most important thing I could ever do in my life. Raising a child, teaching him, guiding him, providing for him. I chose that, no one forced me into it.

I was lucky, I had a husband who worked full time while I stayed home. Occasionally I worked at a part-time job when we wanted extra money for holidays or some big purchase. But mostly, I got to be at home – a place I took pride in, a place I felt blessed to have, a place I knew was my responsibility to keep clean and maintain as a trade-off for being a stay-at-home wife and mother.

I don’t get how the women in these posts and articles feel they need all this validation. They’re constantly bemoaning the fact hat their husbands come home and question them about what they did all day when they walk in the door to chaos and no supper. Well, I question that, too.

What the hell are they doing all day? Surfing Pinterest for the next great birthday theme so that they can impress all the other whiny-mommies? Or, perhaps it’s searching for butt and ab exercise routines that can be done in under 20 minutes? No, more than likely it’s for smoothie recipes to help them lose weight.

And, if it’s not Pinterest, then they’re probably on FaceBook or Twitter or just texting to complain about how hard their little lives are. Meanwhile their kids are being ignored, the house is a mess and they don’t get why their husbands are  no longer attracted to them.

It’s time for women to stop acting like martyrs. Time for them to step up, do their job, and do it well. Time for them to stop begging on social medial for respect and acknowledgement. Nobody, except movies stars and athletes, gets to do that.

You’re a mom — get used to it.

 

June 26th

Day 178 — Ahh, the last day of work for this school year!  Bliss!  I came home, pulled up a lounge chair on the deck and had a little siesta.  Bliss!

Actually, aside from making  supper last night I did nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  And reveled in it.  Towards the end of the evening I pulled up that lounge chair again and sat outside doing crossword puzzles until the mosquitos drove me in and in front of the television.

Bliss!

June 25th

Day 177 — I like that number – 177 — something kind of neat about it — neat as in tidy, not neat as in ‘cool’.  It’s interesting counting the down the days of the year like this.  The number doesn’t seem all that big, but when you think about it — that’s one hundred and seventy seven days of getting up, going to work, packing a lunch, buttoning a coat, brushing your hair, fixing breakfast, stopping to get gas, and on and on and on.

Well, today is the end of the getting up and going to work and packing a lunch part for me.  At least for the next two months.  Yes, today is freedom day!  That big ol’ carrot is dangling within reach now, I can almost sink my teeth into it.  I’m sure today will go quickly and then I’m going to come home and sit on my deck with a cold beer in hand (if the sunshine holds that is) and ponder the joys and possibilities of the next eight weeks.

 

June 24th

Day 176 — Well the first of the last 3 days of work before my holidays begin is done.  Two more to go.  Here’s hoping they go by quickly.

I managed to get out for that evening walk I’ve been talking about.  Went out for about an hour.  I forgot how much I enjoy that time to myself.  Time to think, to ponder, to work things out.  And then there was the getting reacquainted with the rythyms of my body as I walked along.  The ebb and flow of air in my lungs, the surge of my leg and torso muscles as they contracted and elongated with my steps and the swing of my arms.  It’s a pattern of motion that is so conducive to calm and constructive thought.  I am definitely going to get back into the habit.

June 18th & 19th

Days 170 and 171 — Quiet days.  Work is slogging along — everyone can feel the end is near, we just can’t quite see it yet. . .

Attended my youngest grandson’s Pre-school ‘grad’ last night.  Very cute.  But you can tell that the little ones are done.  Ethan spent part of the performance — which wasn’t even 10 minutes long — crawling around on his hands and knees after another little guy who ran and squealed with laughter.  It was hilarious.

Had intended to go for an evening walk, didn’t have the energy.  My throat is bothering me again, but I think poplar fuzz might be the culprit this time.

Sigh.

June 15th and 16th

Days 167 and 168 — The weekend.  Yesterday I ventured out for a bit.  Went with Tim to the hospital in Redwater to have his staples removed.  Then went for breakfast — which, sadly, wasn’t very good.  After that it was in to the city to run a few errands and pick up a few groceries.  Got home around 2 o’clock.  Totally tuckered out.  Had a nap, then got up and watched t.v.  Boring.

Today was Father’s Day.  Went and had breakfast/brunch with my son and his family.  Tim was working so he missed out.  It was very nice — eggs benny and all the fixin’s.  Stayed and visited for a little bit then got home and actually did stuff!  Cleaned up some dishes, did some laundry, some CUPE filing that had got way behind and made a few CUPE related phone calls.  I even had energy to make supper!

I don’t want to jinx myself, but I really do feel like myself again.

June 13th

Day 165 — Apparently, I was a little too optimistic about my recovery from this flu.  There was no return to work yesterday.  And not today, either.  I am continuing to feel better, though, so there is that.  I’ll be back on Monday — for sure.

Yesterday was my middle grandson’s birthday.  Timmy turned 6.  I amazed at how much he has grown and blossomed in the last year.  An incredible child — glad I could be there to share in his day.

June 4th

Day 156 — A gorgeous, though windy, day.  Work went smoothly, though it’s getting harder and harder to motivate the kids.  They’re done.  They don’t want to be in school anymore.  Neither do most of the staff.  But it’s not that much longer — a few weeks — and let’s face it, teachers will try to get the kids outside as much as possible.  So, it’s not that terrible, really.

Spent an hour and a bit last night watching my youngest grandson at soccer.  These little guys are so cute.  They don’t actually play soccer — just run around with a ball and play a few games like “What Time is it Mr. Wolf? and Red Light, Green Light”. Honestly though, I think  the biggest attraction for them is when they get to break for snack.  You’d think they’d never seen a wedge of watermelon or a slice of orange before!  It’s hilarious.  But all part of that group social activity they need at that age.

It was a nice little break in my otherwise work-overload week.  I sat on the grass, smiled and even managed to read a few pages of my book.  Score!

May 15th – 20th

Day 136 to 141 — We were away in Lethbridge for the funeral of Tim’s uncle Lief.  Sad, but a wonderful time with family.  Lief was 86 and lived a very full and interesting life.  I think you could safely say he was one of those people who actually chose to LIVE his life.  The memorial service on Saturday was very nice.  His youngest daughter gave a moving eulogy and then the members of the Legion where Lief was a regular each bade him a military farewell.  It was a beautiful thing to see.

Tim and his brothers had a good time catching up with relatives that they hadn’t seen in many years.  (Since the last funeral, really.)  We all remarked on how sad that was.  And, of course, made vows we won’t be capable of keeping to not let it happen again.  There is a family reunion this summer, so, maybe, some of us will be keeping that vow.  We’ll see.

Whenever I have one of these extended weekends away from work I find it so hard to get my head wrapped around the reality of returning to work.  It’s not that I don’t like my job — I love what I do — it’s just that I so enjoy having time to just do what I want.  It’s a familiar complaint of mine — I know I’ve aired it on here many, many times — and it usually starts around this time each year.  We’re about 6 weeks away from the end of the school year.  And it just seems like it will never arrive.

Summer beckons like a siren’s song and I am impatient.  I just need to take a deep breath and remind myself — all in good time.

And for you Rick and Connie:  So, it has come to this.